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Reiki As Witness – Grieving 3

By Josslyn Streett, Reiki Master/Teacher for Rain Shadow Reiki Energy Healing Center in Sequim, WA

Many years ago I watched a movie with Susan Sarandon. I love movies, they are often my muse. I didn’t love this movie so much, “Shall We Dance”, it was o.k. for me, but this line by Susan’s character stayed with me many years.

  • Beverly Clark : “We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”

Two of my most beloved witnesses to my life died in the crash July 20, 2017. My husband and my son were my soul mates, my heart, my witnesses to my life; good and hard. My husband especially maybe because he had chosen this position as witness when he married me. He had proven over and over again to be my most loyal ally in this sense of life/marriage. He didn’t always know how to be there for me, but he worked at it, he learned, he proved to me over and over again that he cared even through he didn’t always understand. He made the effort daily, year after year to learn, to understand more, to be there for me whatever the case, that’s love. I was blessed to have 22 years of his love. Many people wish for and search for the kind of love my husband and I had. Not perfect, but perfect for us.

Which maybe makes my loss more unbearable, maybe it makes it more bearable. It depends upon the moment and the feeling in that moment. It changes moment by moment which it is.

I’ve secretly struggled with this since the death of my chosen witnesses. I secretly struggle with a lot, but this was a BIG ONE.

Who? Who, in my deepest darkest hours, with all of my piled up, extreme baggage now, would want to witness me. Who would I trust enough to witness my baggage, my HUGE stacks and stacks of baggage? I was terribly mad at God, my Reiki was not running through my body, although I worked with it in other ways, I didn’t see it as my witness. Just wasn’t there yet. Yet.

My Caregiver/Assistant/Co-Healer/Very Close Dear friend, Ellen, was teaching a series of Talking to Trees Classes during the summer, one year after the crash. I could barely get out of the house regularly and my physical therapy wasn’t coming along as fast as I had liked to be hiking out into the forest to talk to trees. But, I was determined to go. I knew I needed it more than staying home and being safe for my body.

The first one at beautiful Lake Crescent was amazing and I got some very important messages from the trees. But, the second class, just down the street from my home in the forest near by, was the one that shook me to my core and opened me up to a old and new possibilities. I had only made it down to the forest near my home once and that was too much and created too much pain for my body, so I hadn’t walked there since. In fact, for the tree class, I drove there and walked into the forest, just being careful and respecting my bodies healing pace.

The class was going beautifully, Ellen is a wonderful facilitator and teacher, very naturally gifted with plants and Reiki both. We were getting to the first session in which we break up, walk around the forest and pick a tree to talk to, or they pick us is how it usually goes for me. I had to go to the bathroom and was struggling with how far of a walk it was and should I go now, or do the talking session then go. Stupid stuff that clouds your mind at important moments, body stuff that constantly reminds us we are human.

I choose to do a quick session talking to the trees and then make the hike to the bathrooms since I knew the trees I needed to talk to were on the way and I’d already be part way there. I just know which trees want to talk, and I head in that direction. I turn to the tree I feel is the one and I look at it. When I’m looking at it, it’s looking back at me. It has many eyes, all looking at me. I was taken aback for a moment, then went on with the process Ellen has taught us to connect with the trees. Still in my mind, I need to do this quick because I still have to go to the bathroom. Luckily, this tree got right to the point and didn’t mince words. As I connected to it, it said, “I see you. I am witness for you. We all are.”

Aspen Eyes by Fireflyforest.net

Well, I hadn’t told ANYONE about my ‘witness conundrum’. No one. I started blubbering right away. There is no other word for it. This tree, in one sentence, knew the deepest darkest fears of my heart and got right to the point. I felt it too, I felt it take me through the Universe as if to say, the Universe IS the witness to your life and I am part of the Universe, as are you. DUH. Of course, we are all one, we are all connected, but this tree had to remind me of that and help me FEEL it in my core, in every molecule. It had to help me feel it so substantially that I wouldn’t forget it.

I went to the bathroom, rejoined the group and couldn’t share. It was too deep, too personal, made me too vulnerable at the moment. I wasn’t ready. I usually share quite willingly what the trees tell me, even if it’s hard, even if it’s sensitive, but that day I couldn’t. It took me quite a long time to even share the experience with Ellen, but I did. And, now I share with you. Hoping and praying that this, as always is my path, helps someone else to know/feel, that even when we are/feel alone the trees witness us. Even when we are in the pit of depression, the Universe witnesses us. And, even when we feel there is no hope, Reiki witnesses us.

This is when I conceived this process and have used it ever since with my Reiki when I need it. I need it often. I feel it working, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to get off my couch to write this. It lifted me up enough to take one more step into my life. One more step onto my path. One more step into healing.

Reiki as Witness Process:

  1. Bring in my Reiki with intention (Gassho Prayer Position)
  2. Ask God/Reiki to WITNESS my pain, suffering, grief
  3. Ask God/Reiki to FEEL my pain, suffering, grief
  4. Ask God/Reiki to FILL ME UP, fill all my cracks with Reiki
  5. Ask God/Reiki to TAKE THE PAIN AWAY: Whatever is not mine. Whatever is no longer serving me for learning. Whatever is not for my highest and best good and in the highest and best way- Take it all to Divine or to Mother Earth and leave the Reiki in it’s place.
  6. Reiki yourself hands on or just with intention in your heart.
  7. Do this a million more times until I feel better, feel like moving off the couch.
  8. Say THANK YOU.

God Bless you for reading, healing, sending love,

Josslyn

P.S. – One of my favorite songs, gets me every time I hear it, hauntingly beautiful and profound for this blog topic, The Story, by Brandi Carlile. Hope the link works, if not, it’s worth hearing to go to You Tube and listen to it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8pQLtHTPaI