By Josslyn Streett, Reiki Master/Teacher for Rain Shadow Reiki Energy Healing Center in Sequim, WA
Today is 18 months since my husband and 16 year old son died in a car crash.
I am not speaking for everyone, but if this resonates with you, or even helps you in any way, I’m deeply grateful.
I crack myself open and share my deepest pain, only in the hope that it can help someone else. Being vulnerable is not my best thing, I’m getting better at it because I am forced to in my situation, but still not comfortable with it. Maybe a bit on the cheesy side, but Princess Diana is my muse here, reminding me that her vulnerability was her greatest asset and strength for me. I could relate to her in her vulnerability, her perfect imperfectness. And, she comes through me now reminding me that people need to relate to others even when those others are a mess, especially when they’re a mess. People need to know they are not alone in their mess. I am telling you now, you are not alone in your mess. I am there with you. Many are there with you. Reiki/God is there with you.
In our deepest darkest hours, usually alone, the fact that we can still touch others, help others, resonate with others may be our only super power. It may be the most important one, at that. Maybe not. No one really knows anything in this place. We are all doing our best, one minute at a time. But, I’ve been motivated to get off my couch, stop crying or cry in between typing, and reach out.
In our deepest darkest hours when we feel most alone, we are not alone. We still have Reiki. We still have the Universe or whatever Higher Power you feel in your heart/being. When we can’t get up off the couch to do anything that society deems worthy, we can still talk to Reiki. Heal with Reiki. Sometimes that’s all I have. Sometimes, that’s all any of us have.
When I’m angry at God, and yes, I get very angry at God sometimes, many times – for some reason, even though I believe Reiki comes from God, I don’t get mad at Reiki. Reiki is still safe for me. Reiki has always been there for me. I feel it in my body, my hands. I feel it working, I feel it helping me, lifting me up. Reiki hasn’t abandoned me. Even when my body couldn’t channel Reiki after the crash for almost a year, I didn’t feel abandoned by Reiki. I knew it was in my home, in my son’s hands, in my caregivers hands, in the Universe – and all I had to do was talk to it, ask it with my thoughts to heal me. And, I knew 100 % in my belief in every cell in my being, that it would. When I felt I had nothing, I had that. I still have that, even in my darkest, loneliest moments.
Here is my process for getting out of the pit of depression and despair, pray it helps at least one person:
- Bring in my Reiki with intention (Gassho Prayer Position)
- Ask God/Reiki to WITNESS my pain, suffering, grief
- Ask God/Reiki to FEEL my pain, suffering, grief
- Ask God/Reiki to FILL ME UP, fill all my cracks with Reiki
- Ask God/Reiki to TAKE THE PAIN AWAY: Whatever is not mine. Whatever is no longer serving me for learning. Whatever is not for my highest and best good and in the highest and best way- Take it all to Divine or to Mother Earth and leave the Reiki in it’s place.
- Do this a million more times until I feel better, feel like moving off the couch.
- Say THANK YOU.
In Love and Light, Josslyn